Tuesday, July 21, 2020

First Class, Please...




The primary advantage of flying first class is to be afforded the opportunity to sneer at the common people as they are herded back to the cheap seats like so many unwashed sheep, clutching their laughably outdated and torn baggage and grease stained paper bags of leftover MacDonald garbage that had been jammed up under the seat of a hot rental car all morning.

You lean right to avoid brushing any of the mucus dripping gaggle, gelatinous spawn bumbling down the isle in front of sweaty parents draped in XXXL Disney T shirts. Everyone splashed with purple vomit from quart sized slushies, heads lowered and eyes averted as the children see what they are missing in their obvious misfortune of having been born into a family of loser parents, aware for the first time that they will never know the clink of chilled glass and the lavender scent of warmed hand towels that are little more than a meaningless throw away up there behind the curtain.










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