Tuesday, October 30, 2018

6,387 Steps...




















6,387 steps around the lake, back gate to and from, two black dogs leading the way.

Wild Iris demand attention, spawning frequent pockets of brilliant fire. I know to never pick them; they wilt to nothing in a vase, reminding me to appreciate their beauty without trying to own it.

We headed down to the spot where Rufus apparently has a commode, hidden deep in brush where only he can go. He burrows in, stops rustling, and comes back out wagging his tail, feeling lighter and more eager to go.

Walking down the path briskly, Ibis ran safely ahead, Chica pulling to catch up.

Pausing at the old Cedar, sun bleached silver white, unchanged since our first introduction, we  listened carefully for the jabber of two daughters who dangled like simian acrobats from those branches 25 years ago.

We passed by the dog swimming beach as we cut through the park behind our house. I couldn’t help but remember how Sasha loved to dive in after a stick or ball. Her vision was poor so one time she thought a small alligator was her stick. Those two did a circle dance for ten minutes, she looking for her stick to resurface as the gator dodged the crazy canine, before she finally complied with my shouts to come back in.

Meanwhile, Kira bathed slowly, regal and above the chaos of mere dogs. They never failed to disgust her.I miss that good girl so much.

These days, Rufus wades like a hippo, dancing along the shoreline, appreciating the flotation her extra weight affords. Chica swims in the same frantic circles she makes on the oriental rug at home, while trying to catch her own tail.

Life is a bit like that too, so I understand.





Monday, October 29, 2018

Our Beach





Ours is normally the only car parked in the 7-space lot nestled among the scrub next to stairs that lead over the dunes to the beach. Three tiers climb up over the tightly packed barrier of green, three down. 

Once we get to the open sand we can only see other people as a very distant specks, North or South, no more than a handful.

We own the beach and the ocean there. All of it belongs to us. Carla, Rufus and I splash along as the surf runs over our feet. The three of us simpatico with the sea.

Chica is busy with the Sandpipers though. She's in charge, making sure they keep moving, no loitering allowed.

Another half mile down A1A on the West side, is our second stop. A mini-park.  Nobody there either. Expansive views out over the marsh, and a well maintained trail looping through the scrub. The dogs scout ahead to clear the path of danger. This time it was a little brown rabbit. He looked like he could do some real damage if he wanted to, but luckily for us, apparently he had an appointment and had to run.



There Once Was A Girl from Morehead...






My sister coaches an old lady’s cheer-leading group. They're all in their 70's. I’m sure it’s great exercise and a lot of fun for them, but as a younger brother I have a sacred obligation to irritate my sister. Here are a few limericks I sent to her a few years ago, hoping they would do the trick…

A cheer-leading team was so old,
when they wore skimpy clothes, they'd catch cold!
And to no one’s surprise, when they flashed those white thighs
It was a frightening sight to behold!

A girl from old Morehead town,
Led a group to great fame and renown
For throughout the state
It was known as their fate
To win all their contests...hands down!

A pretty young gal from the beach
felt she needed a nice juicy peach
so she climbed up a tree
and quickly did see
there was no peach in that son of a beech!

A group of nice ladies would cheer
for their guys who would watch, and drink beer
when the beer flowed like wine
the girls would decline
the obnoxious demand for "more rear"!

A wrinkled old broad joined a group
it was a famous cheer-leading troop
it was her goal to stay fit
but she couldn't commit
so her parts all continued to droop

An old gal from Morehead believed,
If her boyfriend would dump her she'd grieve,
So she found great joy,
With a much younger boy,
With stamina hard to conceive!

I'm told Carteret is the place
Where the men try to keep a straight face
When the Grannies shout cheers
And show off their rears
It’s a Carteret county disgrace

The Carteret girls know the score
At the game, or on the dance floor
They know how to move
And get into the groove
They leave all the guys wanting more

The Carteret girls have no equal
At getting the crowd to their feet
They jump and do splits
Fueled on hominy grits
And they charm every man on the street

OK Sue, I'll give it a rest,
The limericks are trying, at best,
The rhymes make me crazy,
And my vision get hazy,
I'm becoming too limerick possessed!










Thursday, October 25, 2018

Geese in Distress...





My dear daughters, Hannah and Ruth,
Love to make nasty sounds, quite uncouth.
With their butts in the air,
This flatulent pair,
Pass for geese in distress… That’s the truth!





Food Porn...









Chris Isaac is singing a love song, just off the kitchen. He seems to know how I feel about these caramelized Vidalia's. Chopped garlic, tomato paste, Rosemary from the garden, Thyme, and even white wine and water, all jumped into the pool with them. That’s when big Chuck did a slow cannonball. No splashing, please! He was already fried brown, massaged with salt and pepper.

Everything organic. *

Demanding cover, these guys just wanted to play some jazz together, unmolested.

Three hours later, their harmonies had blended perfectly & they are ready to wow the audience.
But first I’ve got to mash up some red potatoes and hit them with butter and a touch of sour cream. Wilted spinach will be there, pushed around with some EVOO, garlic, and a big squeeze of juice from a lemon I just picked off the tree that leans over the back deck.

All of that can hang out on the stove for a while though. I’ve got to get back to a UFC fight I put on hold. But I’m sure that if I’m a good boy in this life and wind up going to heaven, I’ll know I’ve arrived because it will smell just like my house does right now.






(*If you don’t already, please consider buying only organic beef, poultry, and chicken. Humanely raised, pastured and open sourced if you care to look. No growth hormones or additives. Beef raised and finished with grass. Chickens that run around outside and eat bugs. Porkers that live in an open field with tails that aren’t docked, still wagging.
Pita’s efforts are misdirected when they beat the drum of going meatless. Most of the world isn’t listening. But to campaign in support of organic and humane meat production is the right thing to do for many reasons. Everyone benefits.)







Fair Warning...







Just in case you were going to rush out and buy a bag of these Brussel Sprout Puffs to go with your lunch, like I did, let me warn you. 

They taste like they may have been puffed with fart air. 

They do make me nostalgic for bedtime with my dogs though.












Finally!







My Grandfather on Dad’s side was born in 1860 and died in 1940. He was 45 when dad was born. Dad was 44 when I arrived. I was 35 when Ruth showed up. Ruth is 36 now.

We’re slow breeders. But the curse of telling people that my daughters refuse to breed, is now broken.
Ruth is with child.

About damn time.

I’ve seen your grand-kids and they are very cool. The relationship you have with them, the joy and meaning they impart. Now I get to join you for some serious self-centered one on one with a brand new human. My only responsibility being play time.

Plus, he’s a boy. With two daughters and a wife, I’ve always been outnumbered. Thinking my best chances of escaping unscathed hinged on my willingness to please. That’s been my SOP with the girls. To do my best to make them happy. No blood splattered walls from not adhering to that plan.

But now a boy! What am I supposed to do, take him to Dave and Busters when he’s 10 and I’m 80? Hooters? Maybe I’ll Teach him how to dip cherry bombs repeatedly into glue and BB bullets. Show him how to shove the fuse up the filter end of a lit cigarette when he needs 7-minutes to get away? Maybe I can show him how to see 10,000,000 strange new critters live their busy lives through a microscope?

A lesson in perspective.

I’ll teach him how to braise Lamb Shanks with a side of Risotto. We’ll go out into the woods where the power lines run and shoot pistols. Maybe we could sing some harmony’s together. I have a perfect Lucinda Williams tune picked out.

We’ll talk about high quality knives and dogs of all temperaments and sizes.

It’s important that he know the man, OK the child, in the mirror is primarily in charge of his reactions. No one makes me mad, I may react with anger, but that’s on me. He needs to understand that.

And it all gets down to the “do unto others” ethic.

Oh, and question everything, including me. Run it all through your own bullshit meter and see if it makes sense for you. 

But I’ll shut up and listen to what you want to say. I believe you have a lot of things to teach me that I’ve never known anything about at all. I expect to be amazed.

I’ll be 80 by the time you’re 10 so we have a lot of ground to cover and not all that much time to cover it. Be ready to get started just after the cold air, rude lights and undignified slap on the ass.

We both have a lot to learn.








Dinner With An Angel








Imagine my amazement. Forty years we’ve been together and no clue. To say she surprised me is the world’s biggest understatement. There we were, just hanging out, when she said:
“Honey, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

Still staring into my iPhone and not really paying attention I muttered:
“OH YEA? WHAT’S THAT?”

I didn’t even look up until I heard the flapping and felt the wind. It sounded like one of the Muscovy Ducks from our front yard flapping his wings at the dogs, except bigger, much bigger. Like a Condor on steroids.

That’s when I looked up and saw Carla in a new light. Actually an alternating aura of red, green and blue that highlighted her immense wings. The ones I never even knew she had.
“I’m an angel!” Carla stated emphatically.

“I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT SO BUT NOT LITERALLY. YOU’VE GOT SOME HUGE DAMN WINGS COMING OUT OF YOUR SHOULDERS!”

“I’m an angel. I just never got around to mentioning it before. I may go ahead and fly back home if you’ll drive my car. I want to really try these babies out. Right now though, I’m hungry, low on fuel, and you should never let an angel get cranky. So buy me dinner. Preferably Thai.”

“40 YEARS AND NEVER A WORD? UNBELIEVABLE. THINK OF ALL THE TIMES YOU COULD HAVE HELPED OUT. JUST LAST WEEK WE STOOD IN LINE FOREVER AT THE DYLAN CONCERT, WHEN YOU COULD HAVE SIMPLY FLOWN IN AND CLAIMED THE BEST SEATS!”

“Feed me!” Carla insisted.

“OK, NOW YOU’RE STARTING TO SOUND LESS LIKE AN ANGEL AND MORE LIKE AUDREY 2 IN LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, A STRANGE AND INTERESTING PLANT, BUT NO ANGEL.”

All is well that ends well though. I got Carla her Thai food and she got to fly back home.

Driving home I was impressing myself thinking “LAST WEEK I SAW DYLAN, AND TODAY I JUST HAD DINNER WITH AN ANGEL!”






The Altar



Standing at my Grandfather’s workbench has the same effect on me as when I bury my face deep into my dog’s fur. Lost in a moment of comfort and bliss.

We go back a long way, that bench and I.

It was Grandpa’s altar. He a supplicant. Worshiping for many hours daily, to the Gods of creative woodcraft. As an older, retired guy, he became a box, bench, and chair artist par excellence, and a prolific producer of creative wood art.

I can still hear the pitch of his router. The timbre now high and intense. The smell of my childhood wood-burning kit grown up mixed with that of fresh cut wood blowing out of his shop in clouds of sawdust. You would think he had a logging crew in there felling trees. He guided his router over hand drawn outlines on Teak or Mahogany, cutting in the initial rough patterns. They were designs he had first seen in Mexico as a boy growing up in San Antonio and traveling South across the Rio Grande with his family. The patterns he copied have been decorating Mexican chests, boxes, and massive wood church doors since the Spanish conquers brought them from Europe.

He was in his world in that shop and I was in mine outside. Running lose on 325 acres of woods that I knew so well. At that time, I was the only human in the world who could be airdropped anywhere on that land, and I would immediately know exactly where I was. My days were spent with a 22 rifle and a fishing pole, down at the pond, in the rowboat, on the dock…hiking up to Picnic Rock, a place to stop and rest the horses 100 years before, along the side of an old stagecoach road. Wagon wheels had cut deep ruts through the woods from Pennsylvania to Tennessee and beyond.

I thought maybe God had used his own router to cut those parallel lines.

Late in the day, coming full circle, I could hear that router screaming even before the crowded trees stepped back to let me pass. Encircling an area of the main house, cottage, garages and Grandpa’s shop, tall oaks and poplars stood guard.

As was our routine, I announced myself with loud banging on the open garage door, breaking him out of a noisy concentration. Grandpa would stop and put his tools down. Hands waving at the wood smoke still hovering in the air, we spoke of my day, the discoveries and wonder, a huge soft-shell turtle in the lake and the wildcats born in Charles’s deserted barn.

He showed me his wood panels, experimental pieces. Prototypes for the sides of box and bench that were yet to be brought out of the wood behind him.

He knew that his pieces, when finished, would be his legacy, every bit as much as I was myself, standing there, weighing my own responsibility.

I marveled at his creations, pieces that would ride with me throughout my life, and beyond. No one would remember or care about his years as a chemist with Standard Oil, or as a professor, teaching at The University of Virginia. No, it was the work he was creating when half blind in his mid-eighties that would outlast us all.

That’s how he built everything, to last.

I’ve toured and sung in most of the major cathedrals of England, touched their altars and felt the decorative carved panels. None affected me more deeply, more spiritually, than when I lay my hands on his workbench today. I feel the rough grain, my hands slipping devoutly over his.

He built that workbench first. His altar. He laid hands on it with reverence, a supplicant, just as I do today.




Friday, October 5, 2018

Creekside Dinery




Sometimes food is more than just food.

Like last night at Creekside Dinery. Carla and I went for the lobster special, $11.00 and change. You can’t beat the price, and it included two sides. I had cheese grits, which were especially creamy and delicious. 

A cold Stella, and a hot 1-pound lobster? Heaven.

Live music was one of the sides that everyone got. 

But it was more than just that, it was like looking at a family album of all the past times we’ve been there, and thinking about who we were with.

We tossed pieces of warm garlic bread off the deck, down to the raccoons in the oyster beds as they were looking up at us, masked beggars. They’re probably the children of the raccoons that were in the same spot last year when we were here with daughter Hannah.

Our oldest daughter, Ruth used to waitress at Creekside when she was still in High School. She’s 36 now and living in California, but whenever she visits, we all go to Creekside to celebrate food and family.

The cats still dominate the deck, lying around pretending they are disinterested and above it all, but secretly hoping someone drops a piece of fish or lobster. They know who ordered what and spend the majority of their time near the tables where lobster is served. Never think that cats aren’t smart or lack good taste.

We all ordered their excellent plank fish a few years back when friends came to town. They loved the place. I remember sitting at the bar with Carla and making faces for selfies we posted on Facebook back in 2012.

The breeze off the water carries the scent of mussels and whets the appetite. Try the shrimp and grits with BBQ sauce. So good!

You want Scallop, Oyster, Crab, or shrimp dishes? No problem. Chicken, ribs and steaks too. Inside or out on the deck. The bar area is covered, a fun place to have a drink and watch the rain if it is a wet evening. In cool weather, the fire pit is a centerpiece approached cautiously by kids with marshmallows on sticks. The music keeps the place jumping on Friday and Saturday nights.
Good food, wonderful ambiance, and packed with memories. 

For us, it’s much more than just a restaurant. It’s a safe place, a comfort place, a place where we make new memories whenever we have a chance to go. It’s the essence of this wonderful town we’ve called home for more than 30 years.




Stardust





For the last two months, I’ve been obsessed with finding a perfect oyster. It’s the Holy Grail of salt-water bivalves. Certainly invitations would go out immediately to his whole mollusk family, if I could only track him down.

We tried Barbara Jeans a few weeks back. They’re known for “Southern-accented seafood & comfort eats in a casual, riverfront spot with a patio & views.in Ponte Vedra”. They delivered on everything but the oysters. The local oysters were tired, dry and suicidal.

An expedition out to San Diego and back, 4,750 miles round trip, left me full of awesome West Coast delectables, but still frustrated with the lack of great oysters.

Then yesterday? THAT was the day of discovery.

Hulls Seafood Restaurant and Market in Ormond Beach came through. They had three different offerings: local, Chesapeake, and Pemaquid. I had the Pemaquid’s. They’re a “Maine institution” well-known for their full meats, pristine flavor, and powerful brine. Large, cold, fresh, clean, flavorful and briny. Add a dollop of cocktail sauce, horseradish, and a squeeze of lemon and you’ve got succulent perfection, cradled in a multi-hued pearl shell that was custom made to cloak that particular Oyster like no other in the world.

I so appreciated the moment, as I try to do with the many other perfect moments that I consistently encounter along the path on my way back to stardust.




Perspective...






Sunrise over the lake was especially beautiful this morning, but as with most things, up, down, left right, hot, cold, or even beauty itself, it’s all about perspective.






Door Knocker






It's said that you can never go back again, but in dreams and memories, we do it all the time.
When I look at this old door knocker, I become that six-year-old boy, looking up at the massive front door of my Grandparents cavernous Victorian home. I strain to get up on my toes high enough to lift that heavy clapper and let it fall. 

Again and again.

Their street was lined with mature Sycamore trees, the bark mottled, flaking off in irregular patches like the skin of my ancient Aunt Jeedie, absent mindlessly scratching her legs at the old people's palace, in a room heavy with the dank smell of dirty laundry. But those trees were still youthful and strong, shading the street from all but the most persistent sunlight that managed to run the gauntlet from the overhead canopy, to the ground, Once there, it would do a celebratory dance on the well-manicured lawns, like a thousand flashes of light from a brilliant mirror-ball suspended above.

Many years before that time, my Grandfather had worked in India for the Standard Oil Company. That's where my Mother was born and that's where the door knocker originated. It was more than just a way to announce visitors, it guarded the house with a grotesque grimace, daring people to knock. But I simply liked to flip it and wait for Grandma to open the door to a house that felt like the background of an old Basil Rathbone movie. A cornucopia of wonders spilled out from every room throughout that voluminous old place.

Just inside, guarding the front door, stretched out flat on the hallway floor, was the pelt of an adult Bengal Tiger that Grandpa had shot on a hunting expedition. The whispered backstory was that he hadn't actually shot it himself, one of the guides had, but in those days, the bragging rights were part of the package for the " Great White Hunter" to take home.The skull had been removed, cleaned, and inserted back into the head, forever threatening, caught in mid-attack, mouth open wide, deadly fangs ready to grab anything that moved. Bright glass eyes followed me in the door, waiting for just the right moment.

I immediately flopped down, pointing my Keds in the opposite direction and kissed his nose, rubbing the stiff bristle of whiskers that no longer moved on their own. “Hello Tiger” I cooed lovingly as if to my best buddy, Roxie, the fat beagle who was probably asleep right now on the forbidden living room couch waiting for me to return home.

Roxie was stuffed too, but it was with food scraps and dog treats, and she never even once tried to look scary.




Basking in the Sun...





For many of us who like to eat on a regular basis, we have to get up in the morning, walk the dogs, shower, dress, and go to work. Others refuse to follow that conventional path and think that if they just stand there, doing little more than basking in the sun, breakfast will show up at their feet…and it often does.

No one ever said life was fair.

I’m reminded of the homeless guy on St George Street. That’s the main thoroughfare for tourists visiting St Augustine. He has claimed his own spot on the cobblestone path, propped up against an old coquina wall.

He spends his days there relaxing in the sunshine.

Carla and I had just left a nearby restaurant and as is typical for me, I had filled up on soup, bread, and salad before the entrĂ©e ever hit the table. So I was carrying my shrimp dinner, packed away, untouched, in a Styrofoam box. Seeing that man’s familiar slouch and his sunburned beef-jerky face looking up at the passing crowd, I felt compassion. The image of that poor guy lying there as the parade of overfed visitors marched past, oblivious, holding bags of Pralines and sucking on super-sized sodas, pushed me to offer him the box.

A real meal.

“Would you like a nice shrimp dinner from Harry’s? I haven’t touched it.” I offered. I thought that was going to make his day.

Eyes only on the Styrofoam box, as if skeptical of my gift, he asked: “How was the shrimp prepared?”

A bit taken back, I told him it was Alfredo.

Without ever looking up at me, he responded: “I’ll pass”.

Should he be jealous of me and my life? Should I be jealous of him and his? None of it is mutually exclusive, we all have our own path.

But now, when I think of that guy, I no longer see only that tattered, dried out apple doll of a man leaning up against the coquina wall.

I also see a Great Blue Heron in his element, basking in the sun, waiting for a meal to show up at his feet.