My sister coaches an old lady’s cheer-leading group. They're
all in their 70's. I’m sure it’s great exercise and a lot of fun for them, but
as a younger brother I have a sacred obligation to irritate my sister. Here are
a few limericks I sent to her a few years ago, hoping they would do the trick…
A cheer-leading team was so old,
when they wore skimpy clothes, they'd catch cold!
And to no one’s surprise, when they flashed those white thighs
It was a frightening sight to behold!
A girl from old Morehead town,
Led a group to great fame and renown
For throughout the state
It was known as their fate
To win all their contests...hands down!
A pretty young gal from the beach
felt she needed a nice juicy peach
so she climbed up a tree
and quickly did see
there was no peach in that son of a beech!
A group of nice ladies would cheer
for their guys who would watch, and drink beer
when the beer flowed like wine
the girls would decline
the obnoxious demand for "more rear"!
A wrinkled old broad joined a group
it was a famous cheer-leading troop
it was her goal to stay fit
but she couldn't commit
so her parts all continued to droop
An old gal from Morehead believed,
If her boyfriend would dump her she'd grieve,
So she found great joy,
With a much younger boy,
With stamina hard to conceive!
I'm told Carteret is the place
Where the men try to keep a straight face
When the Grannies shout cheers
And show off their rears
It’s a Carteret county disgrace
The Carteret girls know the score
At the game, or on the dance floor
They know how to move
And get into the groove
They leave all the guys wanting more
The Carteret girls have no equal
At getting the crowd to their feet
They jump and do splits
Fueled on hominy grits
And they charm every man on the street
OK Sue, I'll give it a rest,
The limericks are trying, at best,
The rhymes make me crazy,
And my vision get hazy,
I'm becoming too limerick possessed!
A cheer-leading team was so old,
when they wore skimpy clothes, they'd catch cold!
And to no one’s surprise, when they flashed those white thighs
It was a frightening sight to behold!
A girl from old Morehead town,
Led a group to great fame and renown
For throughout the state
It was known as their fate
To win all their contests...hands down!
A pretty young gal from the beach
felt she needed a nice juicy peach
so she climbed up a tree
and quickly did see
there was no peach in that son of a beech!
A group of nice ladies would cheer
for their guys who would watch, and drink beer
when the beer flowed like wine
the girls would decline
the obnoxious demand for "more rear"!
A wrinkled old broad joined a group
it was a famous cheer-leading troop
it was her goal to stay fit
but she couldn't commit
so her parts all continued to droop
An old gal from Morehead believed,
If her boyfriend would dump her she'd grieve,
So she found great joy,
With a much younger boy,
With stamina hard to conceive!
I'm told Carteret is the place
Where the men try to keep a straight face
When the Grannies shout cheers
And show off their rears
It’s a Carteret county disgrace
The Carteret girls know the score
At the game, or on the dance floor
They know how to move
And get into the groove
They leave all the guys wanting more
The Carteret girls have no equal
At getting the crowd to their feet
They jump and do splits
Fueled on hominy grits
And they charm every man on the street
OK Sue, I'll give it a rest,
The limericks are trying, at best,
The rhymes make me crazy,
And my vision get hazy,
I'm becoming too limerick possessed!
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