OOPS!

There's a lady I've been seeing a few times a week for the last several years. She's pretty, smart, and has a great smile if you can get her to use it. But no, don't start getting all excited for a scandal here, she's just one of the many people we all get to know through our daily routines.

The older guy at the hardware store who talks too loud and walks a bit sideways like a crab, the plant lady who tells me all the horrible things I'm doing wrong in my garden, that tall guy who owns “Mailboxes ETC”, a chick magnet for older ladies who come in to buy one envelope as an excuse to listen to his flattery, or maybe my friend who owns “Vick's Crab House”. He's my age so we compare notes about our lives. He speaks in loud soliloquy about the problems he's having with his "prostrate" even though I don't respond, all the while lifting crabs from a large white chest and dropping them into a brown paper bag as they pinch and fight his metal tongs. Coincidentally, his name is Vick.

These are the people of our daily lives.

Anyway, I see my attractive friend, Sharon, at Publix where she works part time as a checker and most afternoons at the counter in their liquor store next door. We joke with each other, talk about our kids. We also belong to the same gym so I see her there too.

Yesterday I was pushing myself up a steep incline on a treadmill by the rear wall of Planet Fitness and saw Sharon with her back to me, two rows up on a stationary bike. I recognized her haircut and color. While she was peddling away, a long haired guy, probably in his late 40's, as I believe she is too, was speaking with her in a familiar way. I assumed him to be her husband, whom I've never met. After I finished up with the treadmill, I moved back toward the stretching area and saw Mr. Sharon mulling over his choices at the dumbell rack. On a whim, I went up to him, expecting to introduce myself and say nice things about his gracious wife. Looking for a laugh I started in: “Good morning! Hey I just wanted to let you know that I have a big crush on your wife!” He looked puzzled so I followed up with: “Yea, we've been seeing each other several times a week for the last few years. We rendezvous at the liquor store next to Publix!” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the lady that I had thought was Sharon walked by and said to him "Honey, I'm going to get a stretch and then be ready to go."

It wasn't Sharon

I didn't know this guy and definitely didn't know his wife...predictably, things went downhill from there...