Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Life, Death, and AUCE Gatherings...



It’s common knowledge that Realtors will show up anywhere, anytime if there is free food being offered. Put out a plate of mini-sandwiches and watch them begin to circle, soon they’ll be feeding right there…standing up and hoping about, sitting on the edges of tables and furniture, maybe a few perched on top of the refrigerator…

Of course, after they push through the crocodile tears over news of a beloved grandma who went on to glory at age 97, in her own home, they maneuver to capture the sale. After all, the house must go and they are ready to help...themselves mostly.

Bingo! One door closes, another door opens.

Ours is an older neighborhood with many seniors, and lots of happy Realtors.

Apparently, these Vultures, the birds, not the Realtors, view life, and death, in much the same way. There’s a big opportunity when someone dies.

Vultures showed up in droves yesterday for a free buffet of deer parts stuffed into trash bags and dumped on the side of the road.

An AUCE treat for them.

Now it seems they’ve hung around for a funeral. One of their own.

Again, food is central to the sad ceremony. They circle around dear old Uncle Ned, telling funny stories of things he used to say.

They reminisce, a little too quick to point out that he sure looks good.

By “good”, they mean, “delicious”.

All in agreement, they dig in.

Other than the fact that Realtors don’t eat dead stuff, the similarities are striking.

Overheard as we were passing by: “Well, he sure was a funny old coot…and tasty too!”

One even asked another: “How long have you had your Real Estate license? “and “I know he lived by himself. Did he own that home that he died in? Does the family have a Realtor?"





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