A Sheep in Wolf's Clothing..

The “Defense Intelligence Agency”...DIA, I loved telling people: “I'm DIA” That's where I wound up when my college deferment ran out. I hustled my butt over to the Air Force and joined up before the Army got it's hooks into me. Then I opted for computer operations. In 1971, that was big stuff. The fact that there were few computers on the front lines in Vietnam hadn't escaped me, so that's what I picked. After some brief, and often pointless training (any of you guys remember “pass in review”?) I wound up assigned to the Pentagon in the DIA. We kept records on Red Chinese missile sites and Jane Fonda. Mostly I ran a huge copier on the graveyard shift making multiple copies of top secret documents earmarked for distribution to the big brass with a need to know. One night we managed to talk another airman, actually an airwoman, out of her panties and up onto the copier for a nice sit down picture session. Although we were always supposed to open the copier up after every run and pull the drum to wipe it clean of residual images, in the heat of our good fortune, we didn't. The next day the joint Chiefs of Staff were handed their top secret documents, just like every other day. But that day there were way more dots in the background of the text. Dots that if you pulled the document away and got some distance, became quickly recognizable to every man in the place. All of a sudden the picture came into view and any thoughts of Vietnam or Chinese missile sites were immediately shut down. Every joint chief began thinking with his reptilian brain stem... “Well Hello Honey!” I like to think that, along with my late night buddies, we helped to do our small part for the anti-war movement that day...or at least briefly shift the focus to even more important things...