There was an ad on TV the other day that promoted the
services of an attorney who represents clients harmed by Monsanto’s “Round Up”
and similar weed & grass killers. It sparked a memory of a summer job that
my friend Jeff Devlin and I shared some 50 years ago,
working for a weed control company.
Our job was to drive a water tank truck up into New England
to service established customers. Once on site, we mixed dry chemicals into the
water tank and sprayed the parking lots of grocery stores, movie theaters, gas
stations, drive in movies, anywhere that clients had large areas of open
blacktop where weeds were trying to poke through.
It was a fun job. No pressure. We set our own route. Our
employer wasn’t overly concerned about the time-frame as long as the job got
done within a week or two.
The summer of 1969 was a great time to be 21, carefree and
driving someone else’s vehicle into unfamiliar territory, with plenty of time
to explore along the way,
After quickly realizing that we could mix in half of the
prescribed weed killer with no downside, we went rogue. Using only 50% of the
allotted chemicals was still way more than enough to kill all vegetation that
even got a whiff of the stuff.
That doubled our killing power and our income. We had enough
left-over chemicals, and plenty of time, to offer the same service to any lot owners
with a weed problem that we may pass in our travels.
This was long before anyone thought about the harm those
chemicals could do to things other than parking lot weeds. You know, silly
things like plants, water tables, animals…and humans. Especially humans that
had frequent and direct contact.
All of it unknown collateral damage at the time.
Jeff and I wore no protective gear of any kind.
Holding large hoses that allowed for 30-foot sprays, the
wind often shifted. We were frequently drenched. Our clothes stayed wet.
Sometimes we had wars between us and sprayed each other
directly, on purpose. Week killer up the nose, in the ears and eyes, cold and
clingy in the nether regions like a wet bathing suit.
Several years after Vietnam, Agent Orange killed a mutual
buddy of ours. Cancer ravaged his body and brain.
That Monsanto lawyer on TV is making legal drug money, big
bucks.
Why didn’t we have any problems? I choose to think it’s
because we only sprayed with a diluted, 50% version of what we were told to use.
(That’s a lesson I’ve taken very seriously. I never do anything I’m told to
do.)
It’s a miracle that after all these years, Jeff and I are
still alive and kicking. Amazing that neither of us are pushing a neck tumor
the size of a pot-bellied pig, in a baby stroller in front of us.
I know that I feel great, and Jeff looks healthy in his
pictures. (but I think he may use Photoshop to spruce up his image, just to
make me jealous.)
I do wonder about this recent swelling on my neck though.
I’m glad daughter Ruth left behind the baby stroller on her last visit.
I may...grow into it.
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