Waiting for Godot...

It feels a bit like waiting for Godot at this point, except I know for sure he’s really coming. The news tracks his every move. The frustration is probably more similar to a fighter before his match, pacing in the dressing room, eager to get on with it.

I ain’t skeered. Maybe I should be, but that wouldn’t help anything. It’s the predictable loss of power that concerns me the most. Sure, I’ve consolidated the contents of three freezers into one, and added several gallon jugs of frozen water too. That should last for days, but if it doesn’t, the dogs and I will eat what we can and jettison the rest. Oh well. With most of the windows boarded over, the house will be dark, and stuffy without the fans or AC. Again, no big deal. The dogs and I will go naked. They’re more used to it than I am, I never do that, but vodka will help me to relax and adapt. I rarely watch TV other than my recorded shows and they can wait. The gas stove will still work, there’s an ample supply of flashlights and candles so the house won’t be a total cave.

Before and after the worst of it, when going outside is still a bit sketchy, I love to dress for the wind and rain, and run around in it with the dogs free of their leashes.  No one else is out there for them to bother. That’s one of the things I loved most about working a graveyard shift years ago, going out at 3am when I was the only person around. It’s as if aliens used a death ray to vaporize all humans but somehow I was immune. The world is mine.

But inevitably, after the Wi Fi is knocked out and my laptop battery dies, I’ll have to face the boredom of just being with myself. For me, having no Facebook and no MS Word to write with is like losing my sight and hearing. I’m pathetic. I mean, even if I’m just scrolling and mindlessly commenting here and there, I can kill hours of my life. What if I have an epiphany of some kind, an insight to truth that must be shared, what will I do with it if I can’t post it to Facebook?  It’s the tree falling in a forest where no one is around to hear it syndrome. Does the message even matter anymore if there is no possible way to get even a single “like” to let me know someone is out there? The last time we lost power and that happened, it gave me an unpleasant taste of what the SETI peeps go through, always searching for signs of extraterrestrial life but never even getting a single “like” or a thumbs up emoji.

Look at the click-bait I would miss. You know, all the sensationalized stuff in the side bar of our main Facebook page:

 8 Pics of Celebs Whose Thigh Gap Is Gross (And 8 We Want to Stuff Our Face in)

15 Little Shrimps We’d Love to Eat (Sexy dwarves)

15 Dark Secrets About Wrestlers You Wouldn’t Believe

15 Things We Totally forgot About Charles Manson

15 Embarrassing Photos of Celebrity Families Being Inappropriate

I mean, fuck the back half of the house that the big oak took out when it came down, right?

What will I do without this stuff?

Here is something really crazy. I’ve heard that there are people who aren’t on social media at all, no Facebook, no {Photos Not Suitable For History Books” or “The 30 Hottest Taylor Swift Pictures” I mean, how is someone supposed to enjoy real life if they aren’t on social media to see it?

It baffles me. Let’s hope this storm peters out enough to let me drive to McDonald’s for a working Wi-Wi signal. Their food may be crap, but at least I can wash it down with a dose of social media. Something that is at least healthy for my mind, even if the food isn’t.

After all, I wouldn’t want to miss the release of the Donald Trump pee pictures.