Realtors everywhere have stolen a page from the Dorian Gray
playbook. But their picture isn't kept in the attic, it's on their business
cards. And it doesn't work. Most Realtors over 50 seem to use their college
yearbook pictures and never change them.
Last week, my sales partner gave me a heads up “Jean Wilson said that she'll be bringing people in tomorrow." Working for a builder, I'm in a model home all day, answering questions for the people who walk in. I show them what the possibilities are. Think of me as the Vanna White of the building industry if Vanna White had a sex change, put on 100 pounds, ten years, and sported a goatee. The image somehow looses its magic.
Anyway, I was on the lookout for Jean Wilson. So when I found her business card in the desk, hiding under paperclips and a box of Altoids, I was glad that she was coming in. A visit from a pretty girl is always something to look forward to. She appeared to be around 30, brunette, petite, maybe even a little bit sultry, although that could be a tad of my own wishful thinking.
Later that day, three people I didn't know came in. A younger couple and their older Realtor who immediately handed me her card. You already know the rest of the story but since you've come this far, I'll continue. Yes, it was Jean Wilson. 30 maybe 40 years after her business card picture was taken. Her voice was so low, I would have called her “sir” if she hadn't been wearing a dress. Think Richard Sterban of the Oak Ridge boys (Elvira, my heart's on fire, for Elvira... Giddy Up, Oom Poppa Oom Poppa Mow Mow...) Jean had apparently fallen into a vat at the beef jerky factory and come out looking like an apple doll. I'm sure her beauty regime of sucking down 112 cigarettes a day didn't help.That's certainly what helped to qualify her for the bass section in any choir.
Oh well, I shouldn't knock such a time honored industry tradition of delusion and deception. After all, I'm a Realtor too. Here's my glamour shot from 15 years ago.
If I give you the same picture ten years from now, it's because I'm just following the unspoken rules of the industry.
It's a Real Estate law.
Last week, my sales partner gave me a heads up “Jean Wilson said that she'll be bringing people in tomorrow." Working for a builder, I'm in a model home all day, answering questions for the people who walk in. I show them what the possibilities are. Think of me as the Vanna White of the building industry if Vanna White had a sex change, put on 100 pounds, ten years, and sported a goatee. The image somehow looses its magic.
Anyway, I was on the lookout for Jean Wilson. So when I found her business card in the desk, hiding under paperclips and a box of Altoids, I was glad that she was coming in. A visit from a pretty girl is always something to look forward to. She appeared to be around 30, brunette, petite, maybe even a little bit sultry, although that could be a tad of my own wishful thinking.
Later that day, three people I didn't know came in. A younger couple and their older Realtor who immediately handed me her card. You already know the rest of the story but since you've come this far, I'll continue. Yes, it was Jean Wilson. 30 maybe 40 years after her business card picture was taken. Her voice was so low, I would have called her “sir” if she hadn't been wearing a dress. Think Richard Sterban of the Oak Ridge boys (Elvira, my heart's on fire, for Elvira... Giddy Up, Oom Poppa Oom Poppa Mow Mow...) Jean had apparently fallen into a vat at the beef jerky factory and come out looking like an apple doll. I'm sure her beauty regime of sucking down 112 cigarettes a day didn't help.That's certainly what helped to qualify her for the bass section in any choir.
Oh well, I shouldn't knock such a time honored industry tradition of delusion and deception. After all, I'm a Realtor too. Here's my glamour shot from 15 years ago.
If I give you the same picture ten years from now, it's because I'm just following the unspoken rules of the industry.
It's a Real Estate law.
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