Trigger Fish Bucks $$$$

 

On gym mornings, my regular routine puts me on a treadmill at 6:50am. I appreciate the attached TV on those machines and usually catch the tail end of The Joyce Meyers Ministries show before “Parking Wars” starts at 7:00.

But for the ten minutes before I get to look in on the creative but illogical flood of reasons people believe that they shouldn’t be ticketed, I get Joyce.

If you don’t know her, Joyce Meyer is an American Charismatic Christian author, speaker, and president of Joyce Meyer Ministries. Worth around nine million, she and hubby own multiple homes and fly around in their private jet.

TV preaching can pay very well.

Certainly it pays more than enough that if you are unhappy with the face that god gave you, you can get a new one. So apparently Joyce brought a picture of a triggerfish in to her plastic surgeon and said “I want this face,”

I guess that god favors triggerfish.

It’s all good. Not my path but there are many paths and just because I’m not on the same path as you are, doesn’t mean I’m lost. Right?

Wrong! Joyce says I am lost. In spite of the fact that humans worship over 5,000 different “gods” in this world, Joyce knows that only hers is right.

OK, fine. It’s important to believe in whatever club or cult you join if you want the epiphany offered by that club experience, be it Moose or Mason, Baptist or Shinto, Boy Scout or Shaker, go for it!

Live and let live.

But this morning Joyce threw one out there, rather casually, that I couldn’t ignore. She said: “It must be horrible for people who don’t know Jesus, to have no hope. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live without hope. I don’t think I could even get out of bed in the morning!”

I’m not a Christian, but when I got up this morning, I distinctly remember hoping that the iPhone store opens at 9:30. That it will be sunny all day. That the dogs will like the boiled organ meat and rice I’m fixing for them. That Carla will come home early from work this afternoon. That Putin and Biden don’t start a war. That the last fruit on my Blood Orange tree is ready to pick.

The list is endless. The same is true for every human who ever lived. We all thrive on hope in one form or another. It usually has nothing to do with Jesus.

So I’m thinking that either Joyce is phenomenally stupid, which I don’t believe is the case, or she thinks her listeners who send her money for jet fuel, multiple houses and Trigger fish plastic surgeons, are.

Which could it be?