The primary advantage of flying first class is to be
afforded the opportunity to sneer at the common people as they are herded back
to the cheap seats like so many unwashed sheep, clutching their laughably
outdated and torn baggage and grease stained paper bags of leftover
MacDonald garbage that had been jammed up under the seat of a hot rental car
all morning.
You lean right to avoid brushing any of the mucus dripping
gaggle, gelatinous spawn bumbling down the isle in front of sweaty parents
draped in XXXL Disney T shirts. Everyone splashed with purple vomit from quart sized
slushies, heads lowered and eyes averted as the children see what they are
missing in their obvious misfortune of having been born into a family of loser
parents, aware for the first time that they will never know the clink of
chilled glass and the lavender scent of warmed hand towels that are little more
than a meaningless throw away up there behind the curtain.
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