Money Can't Buy Happiness...Right!

We all know the old adage: “Money doesn’t buy happiness”, right?

I like that one, because we don’t have any money,

So, what really does matter?

You already know the answer…family, friends, human kindness, love…and an Apple watch 5 paired with an iPhone 11 Pro Max.

Wait, What?

That’s right. I love my family endlessly. The little woman, the kids, the grandson who eats toilet paper. Chica who worships me, Rufus who is just weird and runs out the doggie door if I approach because he thinks I’m going to pinch him. (Got any ticks boy?)

They are my world and I wouldn’t give them up for anything…except this iPhone and Apple watch.

When the entire family and the two dogs are in the drink, just barely treading water and I’m on the ship with only one life preserver, I yell at the Apple watch and iPhone: “Hold on to each other and I’ll throw you the life preserver!”

All of the others can swim, I think.

But I can’t live without constantly checking notifications. The weather, every 15 minutes. Camera angles, pictures from ten minutes ago, Facebook one-upsmanships, my e-mail spam, Pandora and Amazon music, YouTube road rage videos, Netflix, my Tetris game, the bank statement, the time in Japan, Hawaii, San Diego and 12 other places I never go, my blog, driving directions for anyplace more than a mile from home, the voice recorder I use to dictate memos that I never listen to, the calculator, missed calls, a sleep machine that creates bird sounds to block out the sound of the birds outside, Google Earth, Zillow (lying bastards… my house is worth way more than that), activity data and the gushing praise I get from my Apple watch when I get up off the couch, and of course, there’s Amazon Prime.

Prime is my own personal Santa who helps me save a ton of cash all year long. (Quiet. Do I hear a delivery truck heading this way?)

A thousand other things too. That’s all I need. Oh, and two chargers, an electric outlet, a car adapter and lots of time that is better spent staring and swiping than having actual conversations with living people or doing stuff that requires that I move anything more than a few fingers.

Of course, the watch and phone are an exercise in redundancy. They do the same thing, but I need them both, all the time. They’re paired.

These things give me the power to prioritize. That way, when Ruth calls to Face-time so we can see little Wilders first steps? I can mute the call and continue with my Hearts game and that video of “The people of Walmart”, without any rude interruptions.

This technology 24/7 gives me true freedom.

Now I can put the important stuff in my life front and center...