Instagram Army...

May God help the man who incurs the wrath of 600,000 plus enraged young women…

As most of my FB friends know, our younger daughter, Hannah, teaches AcroYoga all over the globe. Along with her partner, Pablo, they’re currently on a tour throughout the Northeast, setting up workshops in advance before they hit the destination du jour. They sell out every stop and are greeted as mini-stars. After getting rid of almost everything they owned back in Austin, they hit the road in her little white Prius, packed with all of their remaining stuff, Hannah, Pablo, and their dog/child, Nalu. He’s a Golden Retriever whose job it is to hang out the back window, jowls flapping, trying to spot any body of water for a nice swim.

Puddle or ocean, he’s not too particular.

They spend most nights with whoever is nice enough to “host” them along the way.

It’s not that they can’t afford to pay for lodging, they always take their hosts out to a nice dinner as a “thank you” present, but it’s also a great way to connect with followers.

In the Instagram world, it’s not only about how many followers you have but also about “engagement”. As of this morning, Hannah has 623,000 followers. To put that in perspective though, Selena Gomez is the most-followed person on Instagram with more than 135.5 million followers. Here’s the difference. Most of the people who follow Selena Gomez do so simply because they know of her through TV, videos, music, and other media. So they click on “follow”. Most know nothing about her other than whatever her media handlers put out there.

“Engagement” is key. That’s what advertisers look for. How many followers interact, comment, and really know a great deal about their Instagram “influencers”?

Hannah films and posts her life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Her followers know her, and interact online, and in person through the workshops, by playing hosts, and by spotting them out and about being real people living real lives…just like them.

Her following is mostly female, ages 14-44. They’re a passionate and fiercely loyal bunch. One of the main reasons for that is the daily “Insta stories” Hannah posts. After having lived on her own since age 15 and traveled the world for 8 years, Hannah is wise beyond her chronological age of 30. She shares her observations and life advice with her peeps. There have been many occasions when the mother of a teen girl has come up to Hannah and thanked her for the positive role model she is and the solid advice she has given their child. The yoga then helps mother and daughter bond as well. it's common ground.

So along with a large, devoted, occasionally rabid, following of young women, comes a great deal of clout. Advertisers want it and provide free stuff for the exposure…lodging, food, clothing, furniture, whatever they need, seeking the attention of that demographic.

You’ve got to play nice though, with an army like that, it’s just plain stupid to piss off the queen.

That’s exactly what one unthinking young man did. Because her account is largely female, and given the fact that Pablo is very prominent in many shots, Hannah sees little in the way of male harassment. Sure, she’s good looking and always wearing Yoga outfits, but that’s for the lifestyle, not to intentionally attract the wrong kind of attention. That’s exactly what happened with one guy in his late 20’s though. He messaged Hannah and said something to the effect of: “I would bend you over like a pretzel and f..k you silly.”

Nice talk, right?

You’re poking the wrong bear, Dude.

Hannah immediately took a screenshot of his message and posted it on her Instagram. I knew there would be young women lighting torches and running through the streets with their Lorena Bobbitt knives in no time.

The best part in shaming the young man so broadly came from a couple of girls who know him. One was the ex-roommate of the guy’s current girlfriend. She took a screenshot of his message to Hannah and showed it to her friend “so she will know what kind of man she’s dating”. Ouch!

The funniest one was from the girl who said: “I know his mom and am sending a screenshot to her. Let her see what her son is up to.”

Wow, she told his mommy on him! Sweet revenge. I couldn’t stop laughing.

I guess the moral of the story is something most men over the age of 5 already know: do not piss of women, of any age, or you WILL be sorry. When you magnify that by 623,000 rabid young women who have torches and Lorena Bobbitt knives at the ready…may God help you… or at the very least, bless your body as it is laid to rest, shamed and dick-less.