Friends know that I’m almost never serious, always going
for a laugh. But my delivery is with a straight-face, so strangers are
often unsure if I’m joking or need a serious check-up from the neck up.
So this morning at the gym, I finished up with an elliptical
machine and left my black towel draped over the cup holder as I went to get a
paper towel and spray cleaner. Everyone has to wipe down their machine when
they finish.
Some new guy I don’t know, apparently didn’t see my black
towel and got on the machine.
Walking back, I pointed to my own towel, held up the paper
towel and spray and said: “You better let me wipe that down for you.” He was
good with that and paused, leaning to one side to give me space.
I continued: “I had a bad case of California hot tub rectal
gonorrhea last year. It’s a bitch to get rid of, very contagious in the early stages. I
think it’s better now, though. My doctor says I’m OK, but I still have a lot of
itching, you know? Best to wipe the machine down, just in case."
With a look like he was smelling poop, he started slowly backing away . “You go ahead.” he said as he headed toward another part of the
gym.
Then I saw him leave the gym completely five minutes later.
I believe it was probably his first, and last, visit.
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