I aggravated an old injury in my lower back at the gym
yesterday, so today I’m so damn healthy I can’t walk. Putting on socks and
getting dressed for work is about as feasible as making 100 foot leaps from
North to South Florida every other Tuesday, just for fun. Not going to happen.
Although this Earth and everything on it is an endless cornucopia of miracles,
God did mess up on a few things.
Lower back problems are more common than Termites in Florida. There must be a better way. And for that matter, why do we have so many nerves in our teeth? Wouldn’t it make more sense if they were made of stone or maybe stainless steel like “Jaws” in the bond films? He didn’t even flinch when he unlocked a door by biting through a heavy metal padlock.
Don’t get me started about woman’s menstruation. I mean, that can be a mess, right? Why couldn’t girls just eject a neat little pellet once a month, something about the size of a cigarette lighter? It could easily be slipped into the soil of potted plants, a nutritional boost. Also, why are our skeletons on the inside and all the soft gooey stuff on the outside? Wouldn’t exoskeletons make more sense? Battle armor outfitted at all times. Look at ants, it works for them. We could all lift 100 times our weight and deflect small caliber bullets. What about mosquitoes though, do we really need them?
Two large ladies came to my front door last week. Both sported “practical shoes” as my Mother used to call them. Both wore ankle length dark dresses. They wouldn’t want to work the men into a frenzy by showing too much skin. I thought they needn’t worry about that, but I did appreciate the free literature. Apparently God has plans to return to earth, and I’ve started a list that I want to give him in hopes that when he does return, he’ll tweak a few things so that they make more sense.
He could start with my lower back,
Lower back problems are more common than Termites in Florida. There must be a better way. And for that matter, why do we have so many nerves in our teeth? Wouldn’t it make more sense if they were made of stone or maybe stainless steel like “Jaws” in the bond films? He didn’t even flinch when he unlocked a door by biting through a heavy metal padlock.
Don’t get me started about woman’s menstruation. I mean, that can be a mess, right? Why couldn’t girls just eject a neat little pellet once a month, something about the size of a cigarette lighter? It could easily be slipped into the soil of potted plants, a nutritional boost. Also, why are our skeletons on the inside and all the soft gooey stuff on the outside? Wouldn’t exoskeletons make more sense? Battle armor outfitted at all times. Look at ants, it works for them. We could all lift 100 times our weight and deflect small caliber bullets. What about mosquitoes though, do we really need them?
Two large ladies came to my front door last week. Both sported “practical shoes” as my Mother used to call them. Both wore ankle length dark dresses. They wouldn’t want to work the men into a frenzy by showing too much skin. I thought they needn’t worry about that, but I did appreciate the free literature. Apparently God has plans to return to earth, and I’ve started a list that I want to give him in hopes that when he does return, he’ll tweak a few things so that they make more sense.
He could start with my lower back,
But for right now, I’ll lie here on a fulcrum of ice packs
and stare at the ceiling as I ponder the great questions of life. Like, “why do
I have nipples”, and “does the liquor store deliver?”
hmh
hmh
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