hugh maverick haller
Thursday, January 9, 2025
WHAT HOUSE DID YOU GROW UP IN?
Saturday, December 14, 2024
AMVETS SALVATION
Being around
a lot of people for all of my working life, co-workers and customers, I learned
to behave as an extrovert. Got good at it. But as a card-carrying introvert, I
need more down time, more alone, recovery time, than most.
I’m the guy
who goes to a party and wonders how soon I can leave. Most people dream of
their upcoming vacations, leaving home for destinations they believe will take
them away from their daily lives, far from home. The grass is greener syndrome.
Not for me.
Home is my happy place, warm & reassuringly familiar. On vacations or
family get togethers, I love seeing everyone, but I’m always counting-down the
days, happy when it’s time to head back. Home to my lair.
In full
retirement five years ago, I mostly looked forward to not having to leave the
cave at all.
That became
unhealthy on many levels.
When Carla
was out working, I started drinking too much. If she was out of town on an assignment,
I often went several days without hearing any other voice than my own, talking to
the dogs. A little step into crazy town. Knowing it had to stop, I banished alcohol
from my own house, and decided to try a different approach. That’s when I wound
up at our local Amvets club, a veteran’s group, with a bar. One, maybe two
drinks and out. That’s been almost every day for the last four years.
But here’s
the thing I didn’t expect…it was the people there that saved me. The comradery
of a familiar group that comes from all walks of life. A Bell curve of varied lifestyles, beliefs and approaches. So
refreshing. Very quickly our differences fade into the background as our common
ground, Veterans, and community, takes the stage.
A few
drinks, some laughs, the football game, poker, bingo. The bright machines with
flashing lights that call out to people looking for a little Vegas action. Old
reruns of Wagon Train over here, Pandora country music over there. Didn’t that
guy go on to star in Gunsmoke? Checking in on how the knee operation went,
maybe a new house or dog. I’m sorry to hear about your brother.
Congratulations,
support, sympathy, friendship.
Excited that
the oyster roast Ed pays for out of his own pocket every year is coming up
soon. A Christmas dinner today. Karaoke laughs every Saturday. The bingo, the
endless dishes that the ladies group puts out for every event…all more nourishing
than just food or drink.
It's family,
and at this point in my life, on the day-to-day, it’s my fresh air and
sunshine, even though it’s inside a darkened bar that smells of smoke. Swapping
the latest stories, going for a laugh…it means everything to me.
Many, many
thanks to my AMVETS group. Humanity without division. We’re all more alike than
different.
I needed
that.
Can I buy
you a beer?
Friday, November 1, 2024
Note to Orlando
Orlando
2:51am.
Coffee, a Trulieve chocolate drop, bustling about in the kitchen, gathering ingredients
for sweet potato chili. Set the crock pot on low for eight hours or four on high. You know the drill. Alexa playing old
Moody Blues stuff. Thinking about Brooke being gone, remembering a time we all
shared so many years ago. It seems I generally entertain the same memory points,
ones I’ve revisited for 50 years, the rest of it streaked and unclear, a dirty
window to a familiar but unspecific swirl. Another cosmos far, far away.
Maybe I’ll kick it up a notch, Oye Como Va! Images of you turned to the record player, bellbottom jeans sweeping an acrylic carpet made of orange sandpaper.
There was a cigarette machine at the bottom of our stairs. It came as a surprise to me recently when I realized that I hadn't seen one in years.
Peace & Love my friend...
Wednesday, May 22, 2024
Rumspringa
A friend in his 70’s was patting himself on the back for having
completed a few days of productivity. He was proud of acting like a responsible
adult, actually getting shit done. Apparently riding a wave of “fuck off” days
as he called them, is more his norm.
A good boy, but only briefly.
That made me smile with admission of the fact that after I
fully retired four years ago, every day for me is a “fuck off” day. Never
inserting a “responsible adult” day, I’m like Snoopy lost in dance.
A permanent Rumspringa.
Sore from pinching myself about today, the only productivity
day I’ll even consider, is tomorrow.
Satchmo sings in a never-ending loop:
“I see skies of blue, and clouds of white
The bright blessed days, dark sacred nights
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world”
If I had known it was going to be this good, I would have
retired in my twenties.
Friday, January 5, 2024
“We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout.”
Tuesday, December 26, 2023
Family Ties...
I try to
please her most of the time, but it's not enough. Her need is more visceral,
deeply imbedded by shared DNA.
Best I can
do is to take her to the source of her longing, watch her drink deeply of that
linear connection, past, present, and most importantly, future.
Carla's
active mind drives her too hard, too fast. Exits and opportunities blur. But
not here, not now.
These peak
moments allow her to pause and be present, completed by a human connection as
old as our species itself, a bond that answers all questions of purpose and
path.
Peace.
Saturday, November 25, 2023
Thanksgiving Morning
At 9am, this four-olive bloody Mary assures me of getting the healthy breakfast I need… packed with liquified vegetables, it's hard to beat. (Yes, Hannah, I went to the gym first.)
Two is
better than one. Eight olives. Like them, I’m stuffed!
Later today,
the club will deep fry 20-30 turkeys for people who booked a space on the
sign-up sheet. Then at 3 o'clock they’ll serve a full turkey dinner for any
AMVETS members who want one.
Carla is
working eight hours today, gets an hour off from 5 to 6 tonight, and then she goes for
24 hours straight at a different job. So I'm coming back this afternoon to get
a to-go box.
We’ll have a
nice sit-down 20-minute Styrofoam Thanksgiving dinner together.
And yes, I’m
very thankful!